For the last couple of months,
I have been working on goal setting with my clients for the new year. One of the questions that they are asked is: ‘What would stop you from accomplishing your plan this year?’ Many of the people responded in some form of “Me”. That, of course, is the best answer they can give, because they recognize who has control over their success.
However, as always, it gets me thinking.
What stops us from our plan is what we do and that is our ‘self-talk’. That voice in our head that is constantly telling us one thing or another. My thought is you have had a lot of conversations with that voice. Those conversations can be good or bad. What we need to realize who is in control of our thoughts. We are. Think for a moment of all the good things that could have happened, new inventions, ideas, plans that could change a person’s life, community, or the world around them, but it didn’t happen because that voice spoke failure before success. And the idea of failure became the belief.
Another great quote is:
“Remember that the biggest gap in the world is between ‘I should’ and ‘I did.’ Writer, H. Jackson Brown. Doesn’t that just fit in? How often do we say, ‘I should do this.’ ‘I should try to do this.’ And then, ‘The Voice’ kicks in. Loudly, with many of the following
- I can’t do this.
- I am not worthy to play in this field.
- What if I fail?
- What will other people think?
- My reputation could be ruined.
- I might get hurt
- It could affect my business
- It could affect my personal life.
- I don’t have it in me to do this.
- I failed before, I just know I will fail again.
And the list goes on. Can you hear your own list right now? We all have our own list from that dear friend, who resides in our head, ‘The Voice’. What is your list?
The belief in failure doesn’t have to be!
Remember we are in control. Matter of fact the only thing that we truly have control over in our lives is ourselves. What if we slowed the negative talk down? Or, even halted it? Wow, so many great things could and would happen. In ‘The Great Little Book of Afformations’ by Noah St. John, I learned that science has proven that when the human mind is asked a question, it has to work on finding a solution. It goes right to work! Try it, have someone ask you a question. What did your mind do…it looked for the answer. What if you can use that same method, as described in the book, to slow down your voices. What if instead, you answered your ‘Voice’ with questions. Examples:
- How can I do this? What can I do to make this happen?
- What makes me worthy to play in this field. I can play big!
- So, what if I fail, what will I learn to do better next time?
- Why does it matter what other people think? People around me will still love me, right?
- Will my reputation be ruined or is that just my own perception?
- So what if I get hurt, can’t I just pick myself up and try again?
- How will this affect my business in positive ways?
- How will this affect my life in positive ways?
- I know I have it in me, so what’s stopping me?
- So what if I failed before, what did I learn and how can I use it to be successful?
And again, the list of questions can go on. Create your list of what I like to call ‘Success Questions’. Ones that will slow your negative voice down. Another idea is to bring someone you trust and can talk to in on the conversation and discuss your negative talk and ask them how they feel you can turn it around. Take what they have to say to heart, because this is a person of trust, and they only have your best interest at heart. Sometimes others can see what we can’t and this is a great time to get that help.
If your voice is conversing with you in positive ways! Keep it up!!!! That will keep the negative voice at bay. Continue training yourself to speak to yourself in positive ways. As Van Gogh states in the quote if you hear that voice within you say ‘you can’t’ then do just the opposite and ‘do’, he is right the voice will be silenced. Then a smile and feeling of accomplishment will come over you. What a fabulous feeling!
Please share your moments below when you thought ‘you couldn’t’ and then discovered ‘you could’!
Kind Words from Happy Clients
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